Building A Culture of Empathy

The mission to transform student outcomes is so big that educational leaders can lose sight of a critical part of the process – leaders can best support students by showing respect and love to the adults who actively engage with students every day. We care so much about the social-emotional wellbeing of our students, but sometimes we unwittingly ignore the wellbeing of our teachers. Leaders can use empathy to empower teachers and staff, imagining what it must feel like to be sitting on the other side of the desk (or computer screen). 

At the heart of great leadership is empathy. For leaders, empathy is the bedrock of treating teachers with respect. Just as you expect your team to demonstrate respect, you must illustrate that they too are worthy of honor and your attention, and are irreplaceable players in the pursuit of your mission.

I’ve worked with leaders who are so goal-oriented that they end up goal-obsessed. When you are too narrowly focused on your mission – whether it be test scores or student behavior – you may leave your staff feeling diminished despite their essential contributions. 

Take Marvin as an example: Marvin is a leader and founder of a school in its third year. He used his limited time carefully, knowing exactly what he had to accomplish each day and focusing directly on that. One day, his Assistant Principal expressed that she was tired of hearing teachers complain about wanting to quit because they felt insignificant and taken for granted. Too often, I hear of teachers feeling that they are taken for granted.

Marvin was confused by this feedback from his AP, insisting that he was cordial with his staff. In response, his colleague offered an example:

“Your mother has been sick for a month, and I can tell that you really appreciate when others ask how she is doing. Well, you know my son recently left school because of his grades. I’ve been expressing my worry about him in our meetings, but not once have you asked me how he’s doing or how I’m doing. Why is that?” 

Marvin felt embarrassed by this question. He could have responded that her problems weren’t related to work, but he knew, in a sense, that would be saying “I don’t care about you,” and that’s not at all how he felt. He had previously considered personal check-ins as hand-holding and thought only newer teachers needed it, but he now realized it was much more than that. It was a key part of leading people at all levels. “If I don’t treat people as humans, they are going to lose heart.” Here are some tips I offered to Marvin to help him begin leading with empathy and compassion: